My Dearest Ronald
by GeniusInDisguise
Summary: A single love, a single passion, a single obsession can make or brake your life. It just depends on how brave you are and now much you trust.


My Dearest Ronald,  
Through our seven wonderful years together I have never loved anyone else. You are my light. In my dreams I see you, when I'm walking down the street it sounds like you're calling to me, but I can never find out where you are. Oh, Ron, you were my world and I never had the courage to tell you. And even if your beautiful blue eyes never fall upon this letter, I believe that the unsaid things must be said. If it weren't for you, I would have died. You saved me from myself and made me see the earth's beauty without even knowing how much you mean to me. When I think back on all the memories of school, of summers together, all I see is you. All I see are your eyes looking into mine. The thought of you is what kept me going for so long. I know I should have told you but I was so afraid. Even if you never love me, promise me that you'll always remember me. I will remember you, how you were always there for me, how you always kept me warm. I'll keep a part of you with me and everywhere I am, there you'll be. Because of you, Ron, I know what it's like to have the sky within my reach. I miss you. I was jubulant to have been accepted at Hogwarts, but I never really had a dream come true until the day that you came into my life, so many years ago. I never found my voice when I tried to tell you that you were my whole world...and you are. I know that there's no use looking back and wondering what my life would be like if I had found the courage that I was placed in Gryffindor for and told you the truth. So my love, my most prized posession is the memory of your smile. Ron, these are the things I thought I'd never say, at first, the things I never thought I'd never accept. I want you to move on and grow and love and have a family. Do that for me. I will never be able to love anyone else, never forget that if you feel alone you always have the love from me hidden in your heart. I regret to tell you that I am leaving tonight for France and I ask that you do NOT follow me. It will only make it harder. I know that I am not the one for you and I ruin your dreams. You, my dear, are far more superior and will go on to do great things.   
I must tell you that on Christmas of our fifth year, it was I who left you that rose bud on your pillow. I charmed it so it will never die, I hope you still have it. I wanted you to know that someone loved you, even though I couldn't let you find out who. Never let that blue flame in your eyes burn out, never let your ambition and potential be extinguished like I did. All those high marks, I let them go to waste. In our seventh year my pain for you grew along with my fear of your rejection. That's why I lied and made you and Harry believe my marks were still as high as ever. But they fell along with my heart which has long since hit rock bottem. And, yet, It still keeps sinking. Well, what's left of it, just little broken peices of cold heart. Oh, love, I know I'll never be able to be with you, but if you do not know that I will always be yearning for you, I will never even breathe again. Never forget me...I know I could love you much better than this. I haven't seen the sun in years. I feel too far from home. My home is at Hogwarts with you. I never thougt I could feel so alone. In all of the darkness, I want to just let go. But it's better this way...It's better that you are far away. It's better that you never knew. It's all over and done, but the heartache lives on inside. Where are you now? Now that I need you. I shall always need you.   
Many years from now you'll look back at Hogwarts and you'll remember a fluffy-haired fussy, bossy over-achiever and not a young girl in love hiddedn behined her own facade and the superficial layers she wraps around herself. Every year I saw you run onto Platform 9 and 3/4 with pink ears and a huge smile. You were excited to see us. Only I was usually out of the picture wasn't I? You always wanted to see Harry. I can't blame you. Harry's smart, kind, understanding, and all around better tham I am. I feel sick again. Cold and afraid again.   
Yours Truely,  
Hermione  
All my love is yours.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
...Hermione shuddered as tears dripped on the piece of parchment she was folding. She sealed it in an envelope and adressed to Ron. At that moment she stopped:   
"No, what am I thinking? Ron can never know - never." She stood and dropped the letter into the fire. Her tears were comming out even harder than the rain outside the window. Hermione took her one small trunk to the train station. She climbed into an empty compartment and left for Paris, without a look back. She made a list, to check off the things that were important to her...not much. Just some clothes, a few Sickles and one Galleon and a smiling waving picture of Harry, her, and Ron. The one and only thing Hermione had forgotten was her heart. She left it to Ron...  
  
  
  
It was Ron's twenty-sixth birthday and everyone was over at Ginny's for a huge party, everyone except the one person Ron wanted to see. It had been almost ten years and he hadn't seen Hermione since graduation. No one had. She moved to Frace and that's all they knew. Yes, he was in love with her. She was his best friend. She and Harry, she was the only one he had ever loved. But Harry had stayed whith him. Hermione was gone. After everyone had given him presents and cake and candy. He snucked back to Ginny's gest room and locked the door behined him. "Where are you now?" He lay on his back and stared at the cealing. He could hear his mother calling his name, but he ignored it. Why did she leave? Wasn't she happy with them? Why didn't she say she was unhappy, they would have helped her? All she said was not to follow her. So he didn't. Although he wanted to more than anything. Ron wanted Hermione to be as happy being with him as he was with her. So the next day he deciced to seek her out. He had to find her. He went everywere to find out where she was. He even went to France. In Paris, Ron met a little old man who worked in a feuneral home.   
"I just burried a Hermione Granger two weeks ago" He led Ron to her grave, then went back inside. It was snowing softly and the snowflakes caught on his eye lashes. He remembered how when he and Harry were having snowball fights, she wouldn't join them untill her pelted her with ice balls. He remembered how she had saved him from the Devil's Snare when they were only children. She had always cared for him.   
"Why did you stop caring for me? Why did you go? If you hadn't left you'd still be alive with me." His tears melted the snow around her grave. It said: "Here lies Hermione Granger, 1987 - 2014. Died of suicide, and Depression, R.I.P." 


End file.
